Back in days when I used to frequent Caffe Nero (4 July) I can recall a really weird incident. I remember it was lashing it down outside and I had almost finished my tasteless latte. The 2 Portuguese baristas were slumped either end of the counter looking glum. As I began to get my rucksack together the front door imploded, at first I imagined the gale had ripped the door out, but I was wrong. In the entrance stood 22 stone of pure lard. This sloth wobbled forward and dropped onto the nearest 2-seater sofa. Even more alarmingly, she (being a female was my best guest) started to sup a Starbucks hot drink then soon started chomping on a Starbucks Panini. It wasn’t long before she stood, with a struggle before reaching out for a Caffe Nero’s newspaper! The 2 baristas stood, open-mouthed, shocked, and unable to cope with this invasion. It was tempting to stay, but I needed to escape this insanity.
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