Jesus I felt good today (30 June 2011) after 12 lengths and was looking forward to a lukewarm shower and a seed yogurt. First I had to negotiate a slippery journey from the pool to the changing room. Not long ago I landed on my arse not once but twice and it was not pleasant so my steps were an odd cross between tiptoeing and nervously gripping the tiles, in other words perfect for landing on my arse again. In the shower I began to work up a good lather quickly covering my body and just started rinsing off when I picked up on a familiar tune, it was a whistled tune but couldn’t quite place it at first. After washing away the soap from my eyes a crooked figure stood uncomfortably close to me. It was a decrepit and tanned old man with lots of loose skin, baggy blue trunks containing heavy testicles, scrotum and probably a penis, that had dropped at least 15 centimetres from his pelvis. This observation lasted for seconds as I was quickly brought back to the familiar tune. This burnt geriatric was frantically whistling the theme tune to Spiderman – the cartoon version – the one that goes something like:
“Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can, spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies, look out! Here comes the Spiderman.”
And don’t ask how I remember the lyrics. The whistling on its own would have been fine but I was being treated to a private performance that included tap-dancing, mime, finger-clicking and to be honest I was half expecting him to break into a double summersault! I watched this performance in utter shock, whilst standing under the shower and still rinsing off. Spiderman took his position under the shower and thankfully kept his trunks on.
Later, whilst drying off, I could still hear the whistling. As I struggled into my damp socks and tight boots, Spiderman appeared, high on LSD and orgasmic after his virtuoso performance!
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